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Author: kunin35 Subject: Shouldnt be in shock but I am
gapaintballdad
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posted on 02-24-2012 at 04:34 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Shouldnt be in shock but I am

I am currently in Afghanistan and set to come home in 10 days, 2 days ago my wife after 14 years says she wants a divorce. Hurt is not the only emotion that has been running through my mind. This was caused over an incident that happened years ago and she could not get over it. She says she is not happy, and is not willing to seek help. She says she is in search for happiness and she wants out to find it. It all sounds like rubbish to me, I think she has found someone else and has chose to pick him over me. I dont know this for a fact, just a feeling that I have. Im just confused, mad, angry, sad, hurt in so many ways. She has always been distant since the occurance so I guess I should have seen it coming.
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By gapaintballdad (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
kunin35
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posted on 02-25-2012 at 20:37 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Stay strong

'I am currently in Afghanistan and set to come home in 10 days, 2 days ago my wife after 14 years says she wants a divorce. Hurt is not the only emotion that has been running through my mind. This was caused over an incident that happened years ago and she could not get over it. She says she is not happy, and is not willing to seek help. She says she is in search for happiness and she wants out to find it. It all sounds like rubbish to me, I think she has found someone else and has chose to pick him over me. I dont know this for a fact, just a feeling that I have. Im just confused, mad, angry, sad, hurt in so many ways. She has always been distant since the occurance so I guess I should have seen it coming. '

I'm sorry for all you're going through. I'm getting ready to go through the same thing after only 6 years. We don't have kids together thank goodness.
I was told the same thing by my wife you were told by yours, almost word for word. We haven't even filed seperation papers and she is spending the weekend with her new friend and posting pics of her wearing his jacket as well as pics of her in bed wearing only a sheet.
The best advice I can give is "Don't give up" on you. You'll quickly find out who your true friends are, so keep them close.
Stay strong!!
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By kunin35 (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
gapaintballdad
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posted on 02-26-2012 at 02:44 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Well now I know

My suspicions were correct, she called told me she didnt want to split up but she had something to tell me. She cheated. Not just once but over and over again with the same guy. Not enough sense to even use protection. I dont know if it happened in my house while I was gone but I believe that would be the most devestating thing that could happen now. She tells me that she wants to try counseling, but is already making excuses not to go often. Tell me is it even worth trying if she isnt? Did she go to far? Women usually have emotional attachments to men when they cheat from what I have been reading, can they just break off just like that? Ive went from being angry, confused and hurt to now overwhelmingly angry, confused and hurt. My infraction was no where near this type. Dirty text messages to a coworker without physical contact is much more different than having sex to me..but maybe not to her. Maybe its not the act in itself but the actual bond that was broken. Thoughts?
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kunin35
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posted on 02-26-2012 at 07:39 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Consult with an attorney

Here's what I know about NC. If you accept her back after what she has told you, you will be making her "life" easier in the future if you decide to split. You won't be able to bring the other guy up in court because you took her back and forgave her for her actions in the "eyes" of the court. If you two decide to stay together and work things through and then in the future she decides to split again, she will be entitled to half your retirement, accumulated belongings, etc.. If you seperate now you could be entitled to a spousal support among other things. CONSULT WITH AN ATTORNEY!!! Before you "accept" things. She was willing to work things out even after what you did, so that portion of your past shouldn't be a factor. DO yourself a huge favor and talk to an attorney and ask their opinions before you say you forgive her, keep your cool. If you can get her to admit her infidelity through text messages or email or whatever save them!!!See if you can get a witness to her "actions" as well as the other persons name. I'm sorry you're dealing with this but remember, BE STRONG!!
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By kunin35 (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
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