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Author: Guitarguy Subject: Finding the right person after divorce!?

Posts: 0
Registered: 08-26-2020

posted on 08-26-2020 at 11:16 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Finding the right person after divorce!?

Hey all,

Hope everyone is well!
I had an abusive relationship and my mother hated women and always put down other women in front of me and she had so many issues, one being that she is bipolar and a narcissist and could not talk to me about anything that involved emotion or anything remotely deep. Besides the abuse and being shut and conatantly threatening to have me adopted (even placing a suitcase on the street corner for me to leave at 6 years old). This was the woman I k ew best and was closest too. When I got to college, I was terrified of women. I also disnt want my mother around any woman in my life. If a woman was remotely attractive, she would rip them apart and call them a slut. It was horrible. She ruined every relationship my brother had.

As a result, I ended up with a woman who I should never have been with. I wasn't attracted to her, etc...
But she was a good person and my mother wouldn't attack her but she did partly destroy our marriage. My ex was also bisexual and was very into women when we started dating and it always worried me that she would realize years later she would rather be with women.

Fast forward to 2017 and we divorce. Remained friends to this day and have one child together. We were so wrong for each other. We hadn't had a physical relationship in many years. I fell out of love with her many years ago. We were roommates.

I have been dating in recent years and going to therapy.
I am finally dating women I am attracted to and who are attracted to me. I love the male/female dynamic and I have never had that before. My ex was not very affectionate and never expressed herslf in a romantic way.

I have always worked out and been in great shape, yet never felt noticed at all. Part of that is my fault because I ended up with someone I should never have been with. We both knew it. It was never a good fit.

I almost feel like I am experiencing in dating what I should have, when I was younger. I dealt wirh so much trauma from childhood that I was quick to move on. I went thru years of therapy toward the end of my marriage. I also no longer speak to my mother. She already told me she will never accept another women nor will she ever be there for me. She never was.

Its been tough finding the woman has everything I want. I see. A lot of friends in polyamorous relationshipa.
I don't think I will ever marry again. I think it's a govt and religious construct of which I want no part.

Have some of you found that your dating after divorce feels like you are young again and going through things you should have years ago?

How do you feel about settling? Better to be alone? Polyamorous?

Sorry, I am sort of free forming here and writing what comes to mind.

Anyway, thanks for listening! Be well and safe.

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