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Author: scharlie Subject: When My Kids are Visiting....
XO_stepdad
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Posts: 28
Registered: 01-06-2010
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posted on 04-06-2010 at 09:11 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
When My Kids are Visiting....

I am in a frustrating situation because I had a divorce but want to be there for my kids every time I have the chance to be with them, and I am. I try to plan something special, or at least an activity, that we can all enjoy together. But one of my sons just looks like he hates being here. He doesnt want to do anything we do he just wants to sit in his room until he has to go home. when I talk to his mother she says he is fine when he goes home.

Has anyone dealt with this before?
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new_slang
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posted on 04-27-2010 at 09:32 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
good luck

The key part of that post is you say you plan things before they come and then they dont want to do any of it

well maybe the problem is they dont want to do any of those things because you dont consider what they would actually want to do, you should wait until they are there next time and ask them what they want to do and see waht they say

it will make thme respect you because you will be respecting them.

it is hard to do this a lot of the time because they can be so disrespectful but if you try to involve them more it will work out

if that doesnt work it seems like you need to keep trying to talk with the kid until you break through one day
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XO_stepdad
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posted on 04-28-2010 at 16:21 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
I try, I really do

Thank you for the advice....but I have tried those things and it just doesnt work.

I have waiting until they were literally at the house just sitting around and we tried to come up with some plans for fun stuff to do. Even when i ask them what they want to do they just act like they dont want to be there.

It just makes me feel like I am the reason they don't want to be there
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scharlie
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posted on 05-11-2010 at 22:30 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
one more thing

yes i agree with new_slang.
you must not behave like pretending things but you must remain normal to your kids.
and the other thing i want to say is talk to your kids that there are disputes between you and your ex and it doesnt mean that the kids dont have any importance and you both dont love them. they dont have to get crushed between your dispute and enjoy the presence of both mom and dad.

View User's Profile E-Mail User User's Site View All Replies By scharlie (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
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