Arcebee
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Registered: 06-08-2010
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posted on 06-11-2010 at 06:52 |
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Why am I having such a hard time letting go.
Today I am literally filing for divorce at the courthouse at lunch time. Yesterday me and my STBX were at the mediation and I scored major victories against her with both custody and child support. I was happy but then I started to see her cry and my heart just bled for her. I still love my wife very much and I do not want this divorce. I wanted to stop helping her and cut ties with her but seeing her crying because she realized that she was going to loose everything (the house, the car, etc.) because she can't afford it made me want to go over there and give her a hug and tell her everything will be alright and then tell her not to worry about money and I will help her.
Now this is a woman who I caught cheating on me and told me she wanted me out of her life because she wants to be independent from me and want nothing to do with me, but up until the mediation was asking me to give her $100/ week to help her with her bills. And she could get away with it because she knew how much I loved her and I know she is using that to get what she wants.
Last night I picked up my son from our marital home and she was just sitting there stunned and crying and she said she was in pain because she had a urinary tract infection that spread to her kidney and I was worried sick about her. She told me that she probably got it by holding her pee in, but I have strongly suspected her of sleeping around since about 2 weeks ago and I think that's how she got it.
Why do I even care if she sleeps around? I hate it. I get devastated with the thoughts of her being with other men and she has even denied and swore that she has not been fooling around. But why don't I just take what she says at face value and instead over analyze it and the demons in my head just mess with me more and it just drives me crazy.
This morning I did something very stupid, I offered to help her with her high balance credit cards. Then two minutes after she accepted the offer, she told me she thinks it's a good idea if we stay away from each other. And that just devastated me. I got suckered into helping her financially which I swore I will not do, and then got the kiss off.
Why can't I just move on? What do I need to do? Please help me get over this.
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ken
Member
Posts: 6
Registered: 10-16-2002 Location:
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posted on 06-13-2010 at 14:44 |
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Getting over her
Arcebee, The best way to ever get over a woman is to find a new woman or women. This is why it is easier for women to move on, women can always find someone to come over and do them.
It does not take any effort, lines or game, just open their legs and someone will cum. For men, on the other hand, have to put a lot more effort into it, so it s much harder to get a new woman in your life. A guy has to have a game, be charming, romantic, caring, confident, etc., etc. That being said, It is much harder for a guy to move on, guys will always hit on women just to get laid, so women’s confidence gets built up much quicker than a mans, even thought the guys she may attract may just be around for sex.
About her crying, big red flag here. The more a woman gets upset, emotional or cries about simple things the more likely she is to be come move vicious and vindictive. Women are like a pendulum, the more they swing to sensitivity the more they will swing back the other way to pure meanness.
Really want to move on, try a Get Over Her Now tour, they take you to another country where you will meet, hundreds of young beautiful caring and appreciative women. You will have so many dates you wont know what to. After one week, the only thing you will be thinking about is which one you to pick. One man on the tour told me that two days on the tour where better than two years of therapy. Dating foreign women compared to American women is like night and day.
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c_rappin
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Registered: 12-14-2010
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posted on 12-14-2010 at 10:58 |
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get over her
Yeah, once you've gotten passed the initial shock or whatever, getting with another woman will quickly make you forgot the last one you were with. Just be sure you aren't running around banging everything that moves just to make yourself feel better about yourself. Have confidence and don't just get with anyone you can. A tour focused on getting over women is a good idea, all the men on the tour would be able to relate to each other.
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zomonster
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Registered: 02-08-2011
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posted on 02-08-2011 at 21:10 |
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reply
You know, sometimes just taking a break is the best. Being married more then once and trying the do eveyone to feel better, really didn't work. It was still empty and at the end of the day, you still think about your X and how you were hurt. Go fish, relax, and let it come to you. .02
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Link_29
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Registered: 01-08-2010
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posted on 02-17-2011 at 11:34 |
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Personality
Seems like it would depend on the guy's personality, some might be able to get over a relationship very quickly and move on to dating new women right away. Other guys might do the same thing, but only cuz it helps them ignore how upset they are about the separation. Either way it's just a matter of time - once you feel that you are ready to date go for it, but don't do it if it's only going to cause you more problems later on.
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maroonjive
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Registered: 02-20-2011
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posted on 02-20-2011 at 04:11 |
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How to Cope With Divorce
Getting over your STBX takes time, even years for some. Your reaction of offering help even when you're really not obligated to is normal. A part of you still clings to her given how you've invested yourself in your marriage, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. It will take a lot for you to get over her completely.
There are lots of ways that you could do in order to get over your STBX from your system as some of the older posts have indicated. However, all you need in order to recover from a divorce is to get yourself on the right tracks and mindset so that you can happily continue life without her. With that said, click here to view an article entitled "Divorce Recovery and Coping with Life After Divorce," which provides sound advice that will make coping with divorce easier.
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jennica
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Registered: 10-08-2011
Location: United States
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posted on 10-11-2011 at 20:51 |
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it is hard but there are still ways to do
Moving on after divorce really need a hard and long time. But there are effective ways you can follow to get back your life in a normal condition. First is focus on what you do have, and what you can do. Forgive yourself and even your spouse. Learn to create little victories for yourself and build on them. And Remember that this is a new life which is a work in progress, so you will need to learn patience. Masterpieces take time to create. Learn from your experiences and have a positive outlook in life.
Colorado divorce forms
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Fowlerks5
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Registered: 12-16-2011
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posted on 12-16-2011 at 19:39 |
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Wow
Im sorry but I have to disagree. I am 5 months out of my divorce and him walking out on me for someone else. The pain is unbearable but when a friend told me to get with someone to forget him I was at the point to try anything. It was horrible and only made things worse. But how could I think it was going to work? If this was a person you loved, was your friend and soulmate as mine was for me.... How does sex with a stranger erase all they were to you? Just because someone hurts you and so deeply you have to leave, the love doesn't go away because we pretend it does.
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SteveBrad
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Registered: 11-30-2011
Location: United States
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posted on 04-26-2012 at 02:45 |
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Amazing Reply
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SteveBrad
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Registered: 11-30-2011
Location: United States
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posted on 04-26-2012 at 03:03 |
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Amazing Reply
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